A better job, a better life… and a free ebook? In this economy? Really?!

As a matter of fact, YES!

A better job? YES!

A better you? YES!

A better life? Be careful what you wish for!

A free ebook? Sure… why not!

You want all that? You got it!!! I’ll give you everything you need. It’s all in How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What’s Left of Your Career, and if you can tolerate staring at a computer screen, you can read the whole thing online for free. That’s right, FREE!

Why give it away? Simple. I’m so confident that you’re going to want your own copy to re-read, annotate, and dog-ear, that I think I can give it away and people—maybe even you—will still want to buy it. How can I be so sure? First, because you’re going to recognize fast that you will get far more than the $12.95 the book costs in value. Second, I think a number of you are going to want to buy copies for friends as gifts. And finally, because even though I normally cringe when I read my own stuff, I recognize that this one’s different; this one’s… special.

(Even if I don’t make the sales, how could I keep something so special to myself?!)

Before we get to the links to the book, let me tell you the quick story of what went into How to Self-Destruct, and how I know it’ll change your life for the better… even in the toughest economy.

Let’s start with the punchline: All you need to succeed in life is to understand five things, which I’m going to tell you right now, and keep these things in mind in everything you do. If you consistently act with this stuff in mind, you win:

  1. Doing more of what you’re currently doing is only going to bring you more of what you’ve currently got.
  2. Focusing hard on what you want means mentally preparing for the success. Only when you are mentally able to see yourself succeeding do you have a shot at succeeding!
  3. Change takes time, and it’s going to be awhile before you start seeing results.
  4. No one cares as much about your success as you, so no one should be more focused, more hard-working, or more diligent in creating opportunities for yourself than you.
  5. Nothing can get in the way of your success except for yourself; in time, nearly any obstacle someone else throws at you can be surmounted if you stick with it. Paradoxically, there are times when circumstances truly are beyond your control, and in those times, success needs to be redefined.

If you put these five principles to work in everything you do, you will succeed.

So how did such a positive message end up with the title How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What’s Left of Your Career?

Because even though this model is right, the way in which most of us implement it doesn’t work. This stuff isn’t new. It’s the basis of literally thousands of books, courses, infomercials, and even movies about success… all of which have left millions of people with the same problems, the same worries, the same failures. For every person who can read a book about success and “get it,” I’m guessing a few thousand more miss it.

Why’s that?

Our brains just aren’t wired to hear the “straight” message. Our BS filters are too high. We’re too skeptical. And we harbor just a little bit of fear that we might make fools of ourselves if we try it.

So, as we embark, we reserve that tiny bit of brain-space for doubt. We don’t quite take full personal responsibility… we tell ourselves we do, but we hold back, and we know it. We find ourselves an enemy (read: boss/spouse/company/government) and tell ourselves that while we’re doing all we can, this other person is holding us back. If only the other person understood the impact of his/her actions!

With our problem externalized, there is no use in trying anymore; whatever we do will be for naught as long as “someone else” holds the key to our destiny. Our focus starts to fade, the doubts start to grow, and the plan falls apart.

Every time.

Trying to “succeed” this way is futile. It’s death by a thousand little rationalizations. When we talk ourselves out of action—”The time’s not right,” “I can’t say that,” “I won’t risk it,” “I could do it if only… <fill in the blank>,” we guarantee we’ll never reach our goals no matter what.

How do I know?

For starters, I’m human, just like you! For all the success I’ve had, I also have my share of struggles! I’m not the multi-gazillionaire telling you how I did it, I’m not the mountaintop guru who has figured out how to live without any material desires, but neither am I a failure who has never tasted success. I have a great home, have stayed at some of the world’s finest resorts, and have eaten at the best restaurants on a whim. I’ve also lost negotiations, missed easy opportunities, and, on occasion, I’ve bought high and sold low. I’ve taken my lumps, while earning my share of successes.

More importantly, I’m also a professionally trained student of human behavior, and an intensely curious individual: I’ve been studying what works and doesn’t work for people professionally since 1997 (as a consultant since 2000), and informally, I’ve been paying attention since way before that.

And what have I learned? I’ve learned that for many of us, myself included, a direct message just doesn’t  work. When I hear one, I inherently distrust whoever is selling it and wonder how much the person’s “wisdom” is going to cost me. That distrust leads to doubt, which in turn prevents me from executing the 5 points above. Success eludes me.

I got curious about that, so here’s what I did: I read the books, watched the movies, and attended the classes. I studied the science behind them. I took notes about what was being said, what claims I doubted, and why I doubted them. I noted where claims matched the science, and where they deviated. Then I compared all those notes and discovered two things:

  1. Nearly all the programs’ content was built from of the same, simple blueprint. I’ve given you that blueprint. It’s the five points above.
  2. Nearly all the programs used very similar methods for getting their points across… and the underlying model they use is not, repeat NOT, a teaching methodology. It’s a sales methodology.

As someone who sells training programs for a living, as someone who has taught graduate school, and as someone with both an MBA and Bachelor’s in business, I know the difference between pedagogy and marketing when I see it. (I even know the right words to use to describe them.) Despite having the right content, the way these programs were packaged, it was clear that the emphasis was not on helping people master the content. It was on making the publisher rich!

I didn’t like that. Not. One. Bit. To me, that itself was a problem. It seemed cruel to me to sell hope without also helping people manifest the dreams being put in their heads. People are hardwired to buy hope, and these folks were taking advantage. I needed to change the game… I needed to help people manifest the hopes and dreams that were being pumped into their heads!

So I sat down and pored over those notes, thinking about how to present the information to someone in order to help them learn it well enough to make their dreams come to life. I spent five years on the task without writing a single page until I woke up at 2:53 a.m. one day with the whole thing in my head. Clear as day, I could see it: this was not going to be the book I had expected that as a consultant I would write, but the book that, as a professional, I wanted to read!

I sat down at the computer, took four days off of work, and wrote the first draft. It was 87 pages. A year later, I took two more weeks off of work, added another 100+ pages of content, and edited the whole thing to make it flow. How to Self-Destruct was born.  The book I wish I had had when I graduated college, when I became a manager, and when I started working with executives, now existed for others who were going to follow in my footsteps.

How to Self-Destruct is honest, funny, and accurate. It’s designed to get you out of your comfort zone, to think, and to pull you into drawing new conclusions about cause and effect in your life. It’s made to encourage personal responsibility, fearlessness, courageousness, openness to change, and patience. And it’s made to do all this in a way that is fun, engaging, and optimistic.

In short, How to Self-Destruct is about facilitating learning, not sales. That’s the book I wanted to read, so that’s the book I wrote: one that helps the reader more than the author. And with more than 5,000 copies sold already with almost zero marketing, I’m learning that when you take care of other people, they take care of you.

Once a week, I’m posting another chapter of HtSD online. On January 23, How to Self-Destruct will be available entirely online, front to back, no strings attached. (Though alas, no images or rounded corners, either. The physical edition is a thing of beauty. Sheila, my designer, knocked this one out of the park!)

If you like the content and want more, take a look at the blog, sign up for my newsletter (there is a sign up form at the top of every page of my site, including this one), or subscribe to my blog’s RSS feed. And of course, once you decide that this book is worth owning—which I’m confident you will—then drop by Amazon, B&N, Border’s, or your local bookstore, and pick up a copy for yourself!

To access the book, and to stay up to date when new chapters and HtSD content comes online, sign up here… you will NOT be registered for any other mailing lists and will only receive emails letting you know when I’ve posted a new chapter and about other awesome HtSD content.

Clicking ’submit’ below will take you to the first page of the book.

What you’ll get:

HOW TO SELF-DESTRUCT

  • START HERE
    Acknowledgements
  • WHAT’S INSIDE
    Table of Contents
  • INTRODUCTION
    Read This First Despite Your Strong Temptation to Skip It
  • SECTION 1
    Taking Down Your Career
  • CHAPTER 1
    Falling Down on Your First Job
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 2
    Making the Least of Junior Management
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 3
    Running Amok in Middle Management
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 4
    Retiring in Position as a Senior Executive
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • SECTION 2
    Kicking Your Career When It’s Down
  • CHAPTER 5
    Bombing the Executive Interview
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 6
    Frittering Away a Business Education
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 7
    Crossing the Ethical Line
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • SECTION 3
    Laying Waste to Your Personal Environment
  • CHAPTER 8
    Mismanaging Your Mental & Emotional States
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 9
    Starving Your Body & Soul
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 10
    Alienating Your Friends & Family
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 11
    Squandering Your Money
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • SECTION 4
    Mastering the Self-Destruction Process
  • CHAPTER 12
    Making Problems Worse
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 13
    Crumbling Under Pressure
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CHAPTER 14
    Emergency Use Only
    (Masochistic Alternatives for Success Seekers)
  • CONCLUSION
    Quick Wrap Up

Posted under How to Self-Destruct

This post was written by admin on November 6, 2008

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